Marilyn Monroe Vs. Audrey Hepburn…..Knock It Off Already!

They both overcame difficult childhoods and absent fathers.

Marilyn Monroe spent her childhood in a series of foster homes and spent two years in an orphanage. Her mentally ill mother was institutionalized, and her father was unknown to her. She was placed in foster care at only two weeks old, and had to witness her mother being led away after a psychotic breakdown. Growing up during the Great Depression, she recalled standing in line for day old bread and having only one dress to wear to school, where she was ostracized for being an ‘orphanage kid’. While some of her guardians were kind to her, she has always maintained that she was abused, both emotionally and physically, during her childhood.

Audrey Hepburn grew up during WWII in Holland, living in constant fear. Her father left the family early, absolutely devastating her, and she had to bear the Nazis killing her uncle and sending her stepbrother to a work camp. Food was so scarce that she sometimes couldn’t keep up her dance lessons because she was so weak from hunger and later had permanent health issues from this period of malnutrition. As a teenager, she helped the Resistance by carrying notes and messages hidden in socks.

They both showed remarkable determination.

Marilyn Monroe, as a struggling starlet with big dreams, worked hard to attain her goals. She often went without eating in order to spend every cent on classes in acting, dancing, singing, mime, elocution, and others in order to get her big break into movies. She showed a single minded dedication and ambition to work as hard as she could to make something of herself, turning down propositions from wealthy men in order to make it on her own.

Audrey Hepburn studied dance at a young age, using her passion for it to get her through the harshness and atrocities of WWII. During the height of the occupation, she performed in secret performances to fundraise for the Resistance. After the war, Audrey starts began under the top Dutch ballet instructor. She can’t afford to pay for lessons, but through hard work and applying herself she continues to dance and applies and is accepted on scholarship to a London dance academy.

They both worked as models to make ends meet.

Marilyn joined the Blue Book Modeling Agency in 1946, using her earnings to support herself and to continue working towards her goals of being an actress.

Audrey starts modeling in 1948, using the money to help support her family and keep taking dance lessons.

Both toiled in bit parts before making it big.

Both took the film world by storm.

Marilyn hit the filmdom and the world with 1952’s Niagara. The impact she made was undeniable, she was suddenly everywhere, on magazine covers, newspapers, and was the girl everyone was talking about. Her style was emulated and she was finally on her way to being the big star she always dreamed of being.

Audrey becomes a household name with the 1953 release of Roman Holiday. Critics and fans alike find her irresistible and her style filled fashion magazines. The film gets rave reviews, and Audrey is later nominated and wins a Best Actress Oscar for her role.

Both were considered to play Holly Golightly in Breakfast At Tiffany’s.

Both took care of estranged parents.

Marilyn’s mother Gladys Baker suffered from mental illness and was a mysterious and absent figure in her life. She was often institutionalized and did not have much of a relationship with her daughter at all. Despite this, Marilyn continuously paid the bills for her care every month, appointed a guardian to oversee Gladys’ affairs, and provided for her mother’s upkeep in her will.

Audrey’s father Joseph Ruston left her mother when Audrey was just six years old. She saw him briefly when she was ten and then had no more contact with him for twenty years. Even after finding him, she still found him to be emotionally disconnected. In spite of this, she provided for him for the rest of his life.

Both had three major relationships, and both had controlling husbands.

Marilyn married James Dougherty when she was 16 years old, in a marriage arranged to keep her out of the orphanage when her foster family moved out of state and couldn’t bring her along. Their marriage ended in divorce when Jim wanted her to give up her dreams of stardom to be a housewife.
Marilyn married Joe DiMaggio after a two year courtship, but the union lasted only nine months. Joe was increasingly jealous, told Marilyn what to wear, what film roles she could do, was resentful when she received more attention, and was rumored to have been both emotionally and physically abusive. (after undergoing therapy, DiMaggio reentered Marilyn’s life and became one of her closest friends and allies)
Marilyn married playwright Arthur Miller, but the marriage was difficult as Marilyn struggled to have children and became increasingly depressed. Arthur insinuated himself into her business affairs and contributed to the breakup of her production company. They divorced after four years of marriage.

Audrey was married to Mel Ferrer for twelve years. He was said to be very controlling, keeping her phone number from managers and agents, telling her what films to perform in, and making business decisions for her. Rumors were so rampant that she even gave a Photoplay interview to dispel that her husband ran her career. Eventually Ferrer was tired of his wife’s fame overshadowing his own and the couple divorced.
Audrey married Andrea Dotti, an Italian psychiatrist, in 1969 and were married for 13 years. Andrea had frequent extramarital affairs, and Audrey stayed until she felt their son was old enough to cope with divorce.
Audrey met actor Robert Wolders in 1980 and although never married, they were together until her death in 1993. In Wolders, Audrey finally had found the love and companionship she needed and they are considered one of the world’s great love stories.

Both suffered from bouts of depression.

Marilyn Monroe famously dealt with depression, going all the way back to her starlet days. After the death of her agent and lover Johnny Hyde, her acting coach found her unconscious in an apparent suicide attempt. Despite all her success, Marilyn was plagued by depression that culminated following several miscarriages and her divorce from Arthur Miller with her spending time in the psychiatric unit of Payne Whitney Hospital. She did, however, work hard to try and overcome it by undergoing years of therapy to cope with what is now suspected to either be bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder.

Audrey Hepburn’s depression is less well known than Marilyn’s, but was there nonetheless. She fell into deep periods of melancholia following her divorces and was often described as feeling lost. In an article from the 1960s, Tom Daly reported that Audrey attempted suicide twice, once trying to slit her wrists. Audrey’s son Sean Ferrer has spoken about the deep sadness his mother harbored, as a result of her early traumas during the war.

Both had extramarital affairs with costars.

During the filming of Let’s Make Love in 1960, rumors were rampant of an affair between the film’s costars, Marilyn Monroe and Yves Montand. Both were married at the time, Monroe to Arthur Miller and Montand to Simone Signoret. When filming wrapped, so did the romance.

While Marilyn is often vilified for her relationships, Audrey’s are less well known. During the filming of Sabrina, Audrey had an affair with her costar, married father of three William Holden. She was also rumored to have had an affair with her Two For the Road costar Albert Finney during her marriage to Mel Ferrer.

Whatever your stance on these affairs, they should not detract from the remarkable accomplishments of either woman.

Both worked tirelessly for children’s charities.

Likely because of their own difficult childhoods, both women had tremendous empathy for children and devoted much of themselves to helping them.

Marilyn began visiting orphanages as early as 1948. During a publicity tour in 1952, she visited an orphanage and a children’s hospital. She also appeared at fundraisers for St.Jude’s Hospital, The March of Dimes, WAIF (an organization that placed abandoned children in homes), Toys For Tots, and The Muscular Dystrophy Association. She donated the earnings from the premiere of The Prince and The Showgirl to the Milk Fund For Babies, and on a visit to an orphanage in Mexico tore up her check for $1000 and wrote a new one for $10,000.

Audrey Hepburn’s work as an ambassador for UNICEF was tremendous. She was appointed a Goodwill Ambassador in 1989, and dedicated herself fully to helping impoverished children. She traveled the world, visiting a polio vaccine project in Turkey, projects for children living and working on the street in Ecuador, projects to provide drinking water in Guatemala and Honduras and radio literacy projects in El Salvador. She helped build schools in Bangladesh, helped impoverished children in Thailand, oversaw nutrition projects in Viet Nam and camps for displaced children in Sudan.She testified before the US Congress, took part in the World Summit for Children, launched UNICEF’s State of the World’s Children reports, hosted Danny Kaye International Children’s Award ceremonies, designed fundraising cards, participated in benefit concert tours and gave many speeches and interviews promoting UNICEF’s work.

Both Audrey and Marilyn continue to help children after their deaths- 25% of Marilyn’s estate continues to fund the Anna Freud Center, which helps children with psychiatric problems, and Audrey’s estate funds the Audrey Hepburn Children’s Fund, which continues to help impoverished children worldwide.

Both are indisbutable icons deserving of admiration.

Marilyn and Audrey were at the height of their fame at the same time, yet neither ever said anything catty about the other. So why do we insist on creating animosity and competition that never actually existed between these women? Both were great actresses who worked hard to achieve stardom. Both overcame trauma and heartache from childhood to be beloved by the whole world. Both had scandals that should be far outweighed by their kindness, generosity, and charity work. Both are the biggest female movie stars of the 20th Century and probably of all time. Both had the most iconic moments in film history (pictured above). Their legacy should be their contributions, both to film and the world, not competing to see which one is somehow more worthy of respect and admiration. They are BOTH admirable women and deserving of their icon status.

By Marijane Gray