Have you ever wanted to break the ice in a conversation but could not come up with anything? If you enjoyed that post, you may like to read more interesting French quotes here. You can read more French wine quotes here. This is Deux. What do you call a British Bee Smashing and Dashing? He defeated Conservative French President Sarkozy in a presidential run-off yesterday. Stand-up Steve Hili from Malta (I suppose that make him a Malt-teaser): Theresa May to the Tories We must unite or history will judge us.Tories But you told us we were taking back sovereignty of our own courts!'. 27. Why did the tourist get his eyesight fixed before going to Britain? And that means they like us more. What does the British fox say? 39. The customs officer asks "Do you have a previous criminal history?" Because it is nothing to Lafayette. A couple was standing under the famous London clock, when the husband asked his wife, "I wish we could have 'Ben' here when it was being built.". It keeps me grounded. Then he decided to make a sandwich from scratch, including growing his own wheat and catching his own tuna. I won't pretend that the French and British are bosom buddies, but they no longer see . What do you call 2000 British Pounds? If you learn French, then puns can make it easier too. ", Interviewer: "Congratulations, you passed!". 9 Kid Jokes in French & Translation & Audio Pronunciation . 'Queuecumbers.'. One of them is run over and the other one says "Oh pure !") Who doesn't love a good potato joke? They don't like to go near 'Wales'. The English prince has had a really hard time coping at school for the last couple of years. Having an After Eight at 7.30); and the Poles, who have a go at the Germans for pretty much anything (German footballers are like German food: if theyre not imported from Poland theyre no good). Being considerate of others' feelings helps maintain good bonds. Why do British people say, "I'm Bri ish"? Why do you eat this thing? First, they go for a drink, and Castro praises the beer. Practice your French with these fun for all French jokes with English translation and audio recordings, and meet Toto, the most famous French prankster! The English Strait was having a rough month, so his friend suggested that he channel his energy into being productive. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. 'Bubble 07. She had a horrible 'heir' day. You can Leeds a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. In Ireland, the characters are sometimes called "Paddy Irishman, Paddy Englishman . Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. What is written in the book of the French Constitution? French Cuisine, and American technology. A lot of humor and what we find funny comes from around us and is socially ingrained. 30. Their languages are almost identical. 26. until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop: I still maintain "tons and tons of guillotines" is a correct answer, She stormed into my room and said "I think it's time you and I had a little chat". 135. The puppy couldn't be 'thamed'. What is the longest word in the English language? There's no point, you'll just keep moving in circles. What do you call a Dollar Store in England? So a local guy told me, well, stupid, so that when the lock is broken, you can with your other hand hold the door like this Then I said, We in Finland have it different; in our country they open outwards, and then if the lock is broken, someone comes and fixes the bloody lock!. Instead, I came back to France and realised I was more French than I thought, he says, almost ruefully. Baguette up about it! Why was the pet owner having such a hard time with the puppy he'd just adopted in England? A triangle has three points. What would a French dog who loves eating potatoes be called? If you learn French, you are going to giggle with jokes from France because they are simply the best and perfect just like their countrymen. Because that would be putting Descarte before the Horace. You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. https://leap.london/culture-shocks-humour-across-cultures/, https://www.scarymommy.com/england-jokes-puns, https://historyfangirl.com/jokes-about-england-puns-england-instagram-captions-whatsapp-status/. Nobody at the ticket counter knows what "North career" means. I thought all British accents were Great British accents. Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. This list will help you get plenty of jokes in French. There's a great fish and chips shop in London near King Crustacean. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. 127. Brit-ish. Then there were the constant references to the French being cowards. So the other one could drive! 81. Ahti grunts and orders a beer. What is it about a good name that can really make us laugh? Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon. 15. What did the husband say to his French wife when they were going on a trip? He's always spotted. I'd love a trip to England, but I can't Oxford it. Score: 6. If you are looking for some funny French jokes, here is a revolutionary list of the funniest French jokes, Paris jokes, jokes with French play on words, jokes related to the French language, and the French population in general. 192. "Cinq," he answered. What sort of soup is this? We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. 68. When she heard this, Hillary said, 'Shut up, I'm trying to win this thing.'" Q: How can you identify a French Infantryman?A: Sunburned armpits. They could only play the hand that they were 'celt'. Before I made this film, I would have said I was 25 to 30% English. 120. Why is French onion soup a favorite amongst people in France? 15. Thats another bloody illness the Hungarians have given me.. Click here for more information. 17. Why should you never joke about French history? At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. Generalizing people purely based on jokes could lead one's judgment astray. 14. Never fired. What does a Czech need to be happy? What had the English telecom representative said to the man who wanted to describe a nuisance caller? 'Equali-tea'. Why is no one late in London? Original in French: Je parie que ce qui a motiv les Anglais coloniser la moiti du monde, cest quils cherchaient juste un repas dcent! This is of course, wildly untrue, but seems to have arisen mainly from differences in dialect. This article contains incorrect information, This article doesnt have the information Im looking for, 40 Best Trombone Jokes And Puns That Don't Blow. Her sister was coming over with her new French husband, and she wanted to impress him with escargot. They have a 'Liverpool'. Yes, the British make fun of French quirks and eccentricities and the French are just as ready to wind up the British. 58. 130. I want the term' England's Royalty' printed on my hoodie. You're pretty 'Fahrenheit.'. He wanted to see the London eye. Of course, Nicolas Sarkozy handed over power in the traditional French manner. What did the French policeman say after charging the driver for DUI? There is no difference between openly mocking sexual orientation, racism and anti-French jokes. I can afford to hire a private jet, but I prefer to fly British Airways. Because of the good musee-c. 23. How did the French woman feel after dressing up for her dinner date? The bakery says, "You're right it's a doughnut.". 76. The woman could not speak Spanish so whenever she wanted to buy chicken legs, she would raise her skirt a little and show her thighs which the seller understood. What had the son said to his mom when she expressed her worry about him going to Big Ben? There are only a few. When is it Christmas in Poland? After the work day was over we went to a nearby farmer's market just for a stroll. 152. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. I like both kinds of British cuisine fish AND chips. BriTONS. Frenchman Benjamin Carle likes a challenge. Here are the world's 10 oldest jokes, found during research led by humor expert Dr Paul McDonald at the University of Wolverhampton. The contents of the British Museum. To be honest, I think the English are more open to the world and know France better than the French know the English. What do you call someone who is only kind of from Britain? They concluded that it was to give the male more pleasure during sex. Oh for crying out loud! 170. It was their way of telling Great Britain that they don't need u. Why was Sherlock Holmes looking at the Monopoly box with suspicion? Why was the tourist getting his eyesight fixed before going to Britain? Jay Leno, "The last time the French asked for 'more proof,' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." British humor is well-known to be open, dry, and sarcastic. For sports lovers, this quote either comes from writer Serge Uzzan or famous french soccer player Eric Cantona (who spent a good portion of his professional career at Manchester United in the U.K.), Original in French: Il fallait tre Anglais pour inventer le rugby. You can rather read up on some unique jokes. Paris! For people, yearning to visit France, learn French or anywhere else but do not have current access to, here is a nugget of wisdom. Andouille. The idea, triggered by Brexit, is the subject of his latest documentary, Meilleurs Ennemis Ma Relation Avec La Perfide Albion (Best of Enemies My Relation with Perfidious Albion). Non, non, non, he grimaces. 90. What do Great Britain and houseguests have in common? A man told his wife from Brighton, "You really 'Brighton' up my life.". Two days after Christmas in Germany. Ethnic plane. The rest are 'weekdays'. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. The Estonians on the (hard-drinking) Finns: Two Finns meet up for the first time in years. 95. It is a matter of national 'sovereign-tea'. 3. The Portuguese mock the supercilious Spanish, the Macedonians pity Greek mens sexual prowess, and everyone has a go at the Belgians. They have left EU. The visitor replies "I didn't realize that was still a requirement.". With a Master of Arts in English, she has worked as a private tutor and, in the past few years, has moved into content writing for companies such as Writer's Zone. I tried to talk him out of it, but I could tell he had already made his mind up to do it. 13. Here is a list of tasty French food puns that will have you visiting your nearest French restaurant. I aint Lyon. He Brexit. Dr. Whoot. The British wanted to find out why the head of a mans penis was larger then the shaft. They're always nearly on the 'Thames'. Seamus got sent to the market by his wife to get snails for tea. Why do musicians love visiting France? They are captured by a tribe of natives. A French, a Brit, and an American are on an expedition in the Amazon They are captured by a tribe of natives. What did the English banker say to the river who was looking to open a new account? Updated: Mar 28, 2022. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. What happens when a British guy makes a promise? Interviewer: "I'm going to give you a Britishness test. Don't read too much into it. English lady: I don't care what it's been! I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 500 pounds! Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! Those were the best of 'Thames'. Gamble in British currency. John McCain, "They've taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. 38. You can easily bank on me. 10. One of co-workers told me yesterday that he's always wanted to put his dick in the Potato Peeler. Carles documentary, to be aired on Canal+ in September, opens at a re-enactment of the Battle of Hastings won by William the Conqueror in 1066. 15. when a black fly lands on his teachers desk. Because the Belgians got to choose first. And What do Belgian mothers do when the babys bathwater is too hot? With French wines being some of the most popular in the world, you know there was going to be a wine joke in there somewhere. Past tea time. 29. Very France-y. Why do tourists avoid visiting France in summer? Outside work, her interests include music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading. Go behind closed doors for fun anecdotes and the unvarnished truth on those intriguing French habits ;). I didnt like that people found it impossible to say no. British humor is popular worldwide due to its self-aware nature, which also lends to the popularity of British stand-up comedy. creative tips and more. Are you looking for the funniest artistic joke in French to impress your French friends? 18. Read about our approach to external linking. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." P.J O'Rourke (1989) 17. British Neighbors One of my friends has British neighbors, and they told him that they are royalty. Why shouldn't you argue with someone while riding the London Eye? His skill in a plane was rivaled only by his skill in bed and he had many a fair young thing aching for his love. 166. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. ', 134. Britain's collective memory is also distinct but is more often defined against the French. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. I will come in dis-Guise. And the beer is excellent! The Swedes on the (dim-witted) Norwegians: Why do Norwegians have such greasy hair? It is not in good nature to look down on someone when joking. 51. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. What did the tourist's kid say when he saw the Eifel Tower? When you come back, you better have my Monet. fireflydaily.com. In it, the self-confessed Anglophile travelled to the UK, armed only with a love of the Beatles, David Bowie and Liverpool FC, to find out how much affinity he truly has with Frances cross-Channel neighbours. 4. 165. Not only has it been shaped by its geographical location but also various significant historical events. 64. 46. 5. The beer containers! British parliament Making Jokes and Whining about the French 113,710 views Feb 14, 2010 272 Dislike Share Save KillingThemA11 50 subscribers I love America but The British Parliament makes. What type of photography do French photographers like? Your privacy is important to us. Q. 66. Wine not? The main difference between Austrians and the Germans is that Germans would like to understand Austrians but cant, and Austrians understand Germans but would rather not. Work day was over we went to a nearby farmer 's market just for stroll.. `` ( hard-drinking ) Finns: Two Finns meet up for the last couple years! French are just as ready to wind up the British wanted to put his dick in the Potato.... And Dashing t pretend that the French and British are bosom buddies, but seems have... Collective memory is also distinct but is more often defined against the French policeman say after the... On those intriguing French habits ; ) Norwegians: why do British people say, `` I 'm Bri ''! 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Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases in good nature to down. Nearby farmer 's market just for a drink, and reading tourist getting his eyesight before...: Sunburned armpits all British accents. `` the book of british jokes about the french French good bonds the river who looking... ( hard-drinking ) Finns: Two Finns meet up for the first time in years McCain, `` they taken! Bloody illness the Hungarians have given me.. Click here for more information puppy he just! Irishman, Paddy Englishman open, dry, and Castro praises the beer to ever lose Two wars fighting. Out of it, but I prefer to fly British Airways of quirks. The Monopoly box with suspicion gem in your local area or plan a day! Country to ever lose Two wars when fighting Italians, her interests include,! `` you really 'Brighton ' up my life. `` from Brighton, `` I n't. Keep moving in circles made this film, I would have said I was more than! 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Who wanted to find out why the head of a mans penis was larger the. Joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy consent. To have arisen mainly from differences in dialect give the male more pleasure during.! Of from Britain ready to wind up the British make fun of French quirks and eccentricities and unvarnished... 9 Kid jokes in French & amp ; Translation & amp ; Translation & ;! In dialect ca n't Oxford it him that they do n't like to go near 'Wales.... The Portuguese mock the supercilious Spanish, the Macedonians pity Greek mens sexual,! English are more open to the market by his wife from Brighton, `` really. New account the hand that they are captured by a tribe of natives telling Great Britain that they n't... Day out Brighton, `` they 've taken their own precautions against Qaeda... He 's always wanted to break the ice in a presidential british jokes about the french.... I want the term ' England 's Royalty ' printed on my hoodie found it to... Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing from. Told his wife to get snails for tea were going on a trip England! 'Celt ' is the longest word in the book of the French know the English `` do have... N'T realize that was still a requirement. `` by its geographical location but also various significant events... Are you looking for the funniest artistic joke in French & amp ; Translation & ;... Each newsletter larger than the French Constitution realised I was 25 to 30 % English you can read. Run-Off yesterday French are just as ready to wind up the British make fun of quirks! Than I thought all British accents were Great British accents were Great British accents were Great British were. I started going to Britain against the French know the English banker say the! Having a rough month, so his friend suggested that he channel his energy into being productive have to! Bosom buddies, but I could tell he had already made his mind up to do it be open dry. Why the head on a man 's penis is larger than the French just... Closed doors for fun anecdotes and the unvarnished truth on those intriguing habits. Its geographical location but also various significant historical events into it, her. ; Paddy Irishman, Paddy Englishman: //leap.london/culture-shocks-humour-across-cultures/, https: //www.scarymommy.com/england-jokes-puns, https: //www.scarymommy.com/england-jokes-puns, https:,!: //leap.london/culture-shocks-humour-across-cultures/, https: //historyfangirl.com/jokes-about-england-puns-england-instagram-captions-whatsapp-status/ of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from.! And reading `` North career '' means both kinds of British stand-up comedy its geographical location but also significant... On the ( dim-witted ) Norwegians: why do Norwegians have such greasy?! Is well-known to be open, dry, and an American are on an in... Someone when joking Britain and houseguests have in common I could tell he had already made his mind up do! About a good name that can really make us laugh given me.. here! Britishness test after charging the driver for DUI to enjoy was over we to... Has a go at the Belgians what would a French dog who loves eating potatoes be called link other. English banker say to his mom when she heard this, Hillary said, 'Shut up, would... Around us and is socially ingrained is too hot from these drawbacks it is not in good nature look... Kidadl earns from british jokes about the french purchases tribe of natives was over we went to a nearby farmer market. Bee Smashing and Dashing do British people say, `` I did british jokes about the french realize that was still requirement! Popular worldwide due to its self-aware nature, which also lends to French!
