Even if it disgusts you, you might ignore it or make a sarcastic remark back to him. The jerkishness is out of line, but even if its all in her head, its still real. The best stories to me, are the ones when the odor in the shoes is the worst! When Im exposed to a trigger, I cant think clearly, I get super irritable, and all I want to do is get away. Note to commenters:There have been loads of suggestions below for additional ways the letter-writer could tackle potential scents and stamp them out. who CANNOT DEAL with the fact that a person doesnt eat cheese. All the advice about deep cleaning all bedding and coats and switching detergents and shampoos and the like is baffling. If so, you may want to think about speaking with your manager to be relocated, or inquire about permission to use earbuds for a good part of the day. nothing seems to help, except taking a 1/2 of a 5 mg flexeral at bedtime,It calms the constant sniffiling and I can sleep. I can do that too. Its also possible to have the upholstery and carpet in your office carrying the scent and be unaware of it. I cant pinpoint the source, but they have a very distinct smell. People get to wash their hair and clothing and body using normal products. I understand not putting on any perfume before work, but avoiding all scented lotions or body washes after a long Sunday night bath because your coworker might smell it? It sounds like OP has done everything she can reasonably do, and now its time for managers to step in. I remember wanting to scoop my eyeballs out in classes or long, multi-hour exams with chronic snifflers, even though I have a chronic low-grade sinus infection Ive struggled to treat my entire life. If symptoms last more than a month and over-the-counter remedies havent done the trick, its time to see a physician.. It bothers me to have to interact with assholes, but unfortunately, theres no cure for that. I was thinking that it might be something like this for the OP. The common cold is a viral infection that most people recover from in a week to 10. Ive used unscented deodorant, detergent and dryer sheets for years since I dont like the chemical scent that tend to be used with these. If it is bullying, then standing up for your right not to be verbally abused may help. On a sidewalk, on a windy day. Yup. The products I use are lightly scented (and none are patchouli), and I wash or rinse after Ive done anything to get sweaty. I always smelled like pepperoni and pizza grease. . It was rather sad! I did. Another thing that helps is do things that help hyperventilating - like holding breath for a bit. Its like the difference between having a smoke-free workplace and demanding that employees not smoke at home. We've compiled some of the signs that your coworker might be flirting with you so you can look out for them next time you're at work. There has to be a boundary of reasonable action, and I think that the OP has done pretty much everything reasonable. Everyone . I had a work friend who was constantly bugged because he smelled like cigarettes. Thats just how it is. Lately I cant sit next to my wife at the dinner table at home without hearing her chew her food. Its really hard not to come across as rude. swiping a forearm across the nose. i agree. I enjoy wearing perfume, but tend to stick to indie oil scents, since the smell tends to stick closer to my skin (so, in theory, I dont bother my coworkers) and also because I seem to be sensitive to the alcohol that a lot of spray perfumes use. When it was first released it was blissfully unscented, actually eliminated scents rather than covering them. It does not work all the way and attempting to blow my nose is just a waste of a tissue and energy and causes me more frustration. I think it becomes a way to get attention, vent frustration, or just ensure that others are as miserable as the complainer. Don't Lose Your Cool. Well, rose and lime and the mens Eau des Baux are good, their neroli scent is like death. Yeah, totally, for mention of patchouli above I think you can refer to the Zendaya Giuliana Rancic dreadlocks saga of 2015 for an example on how this can play out. What It Means: A sneaking nose touch is a hidden way someone might touch their nose. I guess my point is, OP, you really might have an unpleasant smell youre not aware of and fixing deodorant (I went back to aluminum-based deodorants) might fix everything. ), just so she can say shes done everything she can. Im super-sensitive to the smell of tobacco smoke, but this does go to show you that it can linger in unexpected places. Stupid 16 year old prick that couldnt have been more annoying to begin with. Something needs to break this association / habit. blanket? But more likely these coworkers are the only people left with improvements to make in this situation. Yes, when I pour some vinegar into the washer there is no vinegar smell when the wash is done. But long workdays also give a snitch the chance to witness all other workers' comings, goings, and other activities. Hubby always got compliments from both people who knew what it was and those who didnt. Were there any complaints prior to this (about anything, not necessarily OPs scent)? Sorry you are going through this. I guess I associate the word perfume with the alcohol-based eau de parfume spray ones. I had to take it to the cleaners to get that smell. Im not sure the OP really can win with this co-worker.. 47 1 Sponsored by Karma Shopping LTD http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/magazine/shopping-habits.html. I would also expect that I would be able to use work time to find these products, since this is a work-based request. Though, for whats its worth, the coworker was specifically referring to patchouli scents, which I have seen used as shorthand for dirty hippie smell, and other commenters have as well. Theres a specific inexpensive powder wallgreens sells. If you were my office mate, LW, and told me youd done all of this, Id be thanking you, even if I was still being triggered. . At this point, it seems to me that her behavior is/is verging on (whichever seems most appropriate to you) workplace bullying, and I am concerned. Then see what Boss says, and go from there. I have a friend who wears it, and he hugged me once while I was wearing a coat. For those of you without fragrance sensitivities, try to imagine this: Your thoughts are skittering about and you are irritable and your one goal is to escape the irritant. You can tell her, You said the smell was on my purse and now I have a new purse, so I dont think youre being fair. Secondly, this smell process should embarrass her enough to put a lid on the sniffing and the comments. They just arent my preference, but barring a health related consequence of great severity, I would never dream of asking anyone to change their scent of choice. You could even put a few around the office so it looks like it was an office admin that did it. With all due respect to your coworker, all of the medical research I have read states that it is almost impossible to be allergic to scents. But you can pry my Gain laundry detergent out of my cold dead hands. Either way, your coworker is being a jerk. I do think if youre going to burn incense or wear perfume on your free time though, you should make an effort to isolate your work clothes away from the scent and wash them regularly, because that stuff is POWERFUL. My one and only true hangover. Office politics are a tricky business. Brush that crazy right off and go about your business. mattress itself? The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. I dont know if its the food they eat (not curry or garlic) or what, but they smell like Home Country when they visit America. Whatever brand they use has a very off putting smell. I wouldnt wish that on anyone. I also have sniffles all the time. Its kind of like when they tried to get more women in orchestras and did blind testing, and then found out they were still excluding women because in formal orchestra interviews they were wearing heels that made noise which interfered with the true blind test. You can address bad office behavior by telling people when their actions are not OK with you. Agree. I wanted to give the coworker the benefit of the doubt at first. If co-worker said that the scented oils give her migraines or make her feel like shes going to vomit, I think thats a different level than just saying I dont like that scent. But its not just adjustingits spending a fair whack of money on new products, an expense that can be a considerable burden at some income levels. Its possible that its lingering in a way that you dont realize. I feel like this thread could be about my brother once he gets an office job. Flash forward another month later, she accused me of wearing perfume. I remember a long time ago they had some kids so sensitive they lived in air filtered bubble rooms and literally couldnt leave them. Unless you saw an allergist or ENT doctor, you might never know you have it., With such a long list of possible causes, how do you get to the bottom of your runny-nose problems? Shes also likes to make comments about other people smelling bad when shes one of them. Every. How do you think we should address this, since Ive reached the limit of what I can do?). Then I try to work with them later, after they arent wearing the mind-exploding, irritability-producing fragrance. At this point, the coworker really needs to be talking with her boss or HR to figure something out. I try really hard to balance my wanting to smell yummy with being considerate of those around me! Yes. Is there a chance that it is lingering in your hair or clothes? In fact, unless the scent comes from something that uses natural chemicals (most dont) or uses a couple of synthetic chemicals mostly used in paints or plastics, it is physically impossible for her/him to have an allergic reaction to it. Im not giving these things as excuses or to say its more important than somebodys life, just giving more variables as to why guaranteeing a scent-free environment is pretty much impossible past a certain point. Learn how we can help. A chronic sinus infection might not have any symptoms other than ongoing drainage, Dr. Reisman says. When you are around someone who genuinely has a desire to get to know you better, you can absolutely feel it. I work in a normal law firm type atmosphere and several employees are rocking strong cologne and perfume that does indeed linger in the air or on my clothes/hair. She makes the most awful noise. Skinless chicken breast with salt and pepper and grilled on a George Forman grill so tastes like bugger all else? If this coworker is so sensitive to scent that those everyday, likely-impossible-to-avoid things are enough to cause problems, then she needs accommodations beyond just asking coworkers to not wear perfume. Even I cant wear those. (Again, I am not wearing ANY perfume, my deodorant is unscented, I shower every morning and my body wash is lightly lemon scented and doesnt stick around.) I completely agree. Im realizing through reading all these comments that Im apparently pretty weird with my dislike of most scents! When youre a non smoker, its bad. It used to be a magical odor-disappearing spray! I have spent years finding a shampoo routine that doesnt make my hair look really clean, but is passable, affordable, and most importanly doesnt make me bleed. I empathize with those who have trouble controlling their sniffles because sometimes even the best, most consistent health care cant turn off the faucets in your face, and no amount of tissues in the world will ever be enoughbut f*ck is that repeated sound awful. Talk about getting off topic . +100 my workplace has those cans of Febreze in the bathroom and while I get the need for them, I do get that, its still awful and headache-inducing for me when someone sprays it. Someone in my major (I wasnt in that class) actually got up and punched someone recovering from a particularly long coldI spent the last two years of college avoiding classes with him, especially when he punched some other person for another sound-related reason! Your nose is a faucet, and there's no way to turn it off. Being told I smell when I know I dont would make me feel a tad insane and like I couldnt trust my senses. (And if the scent is specifically patchouli, the coworker might not be bugging other coworkers because they dont carry patchouli scent. I kind of had the same thought because in my city theres definitely a racial correlation. Taking credit for your ideas. If the scent-sensitive person really cant handle it they should try to avoid OP, move desks if they sit near them, etc. I just wanted to thank you for being considerate to your coworker and refraining from wearing your perfumes to work. I had a coworker who happened to have her desk right below one of the (old) building's AC vents, and she would sniffle / cough at least several times every single hour. Ive known people like this who take kindness and consideration as a weakness and will exploit it. I dont necessarily think anyone should totally change the soap they use because as someone who is dramatically allergic/sensitive to smells, I really dont think commercial soaps smell THAT strongly. If OP had ever mentioned using indie oils or not liking chemical smells to coworker it may have given coworker the idea that OP was more naturally inclined or alternative leaning (not that those things really imply anything, I just think coworker is looking for something to pick on). Even if its not her clothes, I wonder if some of the scented oils ended up getting transferred to her workspace and shes picking it up every day when she gets there. But it really, truly is an instant, intense fight-or-flight feeling and knowing its irrational doesnt make that kind of heart-pounding, blinding adrenaline go away. The fabrics used in most work clothes are synthetic or a blend. for seejay above: I didnt mean to make it seem like I find you or your smell disgusting. The OP has been, it seems, acting like a reasonable adult, which is great when dealing with another reasonable adult. That said, youre right (as is Alison) that we should be focusing on dealing with her coworker, who is behaving abominably and is way out of line. However, nothing I could do would fix the problem. She hasnt taken OPs kind accommodation as considerate behaviour from a co-worker, shes taken it as Aha, this is something that gets to OP, I can use it as a way to make her feel small on a regular basis.. Maybe a therapist is in order? Even if she has legitimate fragrance sensitivities and some people do, although its not clear if thats really whats going on with her or not this isnt the way for her to handle it. I personally hate perfumes of any kind, and I know people who get migraines from them. Although trace amounts of a smell would only bother people who are really sensitive. Youve done whats reasonable at this point. I think OPs complainer is being kind of a jerk. On me, personally, alcohol-based eau de parfume scents last way longer and have a lot more throw than my oils do. If coworker needs an accommodation they need to ask for it, and they cannot be permitted to continue to be snarky about it and rude. Dolores found other things to pick on, but she stopped going after me for phantom scents and basic hygiene. And a lot of it just depends on if it is normal to you. If exposed long enough, the migraine wont go away after exposure and can last for 4 days, so its absolutely no joke. Lets see if we can narrow down where/what it is.. Industrial carpet glue and some wood furniture finishes does it for me. If the sound or smell persists after you've kindly spoken with your colleague, you have two options, says Rossi. Ah well. I get it, scent sensitivities are no joke, and I am more than willing to do what I can make the office space as pleasant as possible, but wheres the line on what you can and cant use in your personal life because it might bother someone somewhere if you step out your front door? Maybe the hierarchy of OP compared to the coworker is part of this. Which sucks majorly. Also, sniffing is very commonly associated with allergies. Im not sure if this has been suggested yet but is there any way at all you can move your seat? Are they the only three people in the workplace? They gave us a list of suggested unscented, fragrance free, hypoallergenic laundry and hygiene items. Once that boundary is understood, you can use that to have a productive discussion with the coworker. I also dislike the smell of lavender altogether. Dr. Shane Russell-Jenkins answered. Its quite another to pay a bunch of money on things like carpet cleaning, new mattress pad, etc., in the hope that it might appease the coworker. Boss talked to her, and she insisted she hadnt sprayed anything.but I had 2 witnesses who said she did. Am I the only one who has wondered whether the co-worker is white and the letter-writer is a person of color? So when I started working with someone who was bothered by the smell (but not asthmatic or allergic), I did try to work with them to reduce the intensity of the smell. Interestingly, Im really sensitive to patchouli. not wearing perfume to work). Yes there are some scents that set me off, but most of the time its the carrier for me. Maybe its in the desk chair. Toxic behavior can manifest through words, body language, disrespecting boundaries, hoarding information, purposely undermining others, not following through on promises or commitments, insults and. Is do things that help hyperventilating - like holding breath for a.... 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Seejay above: I didnt mean to make it seem like I you. You could even put a few around the office so it looks like it was and those who didnt to! With another reasonable adult those around me to show you that it might something.
