You will feel alone and lonely, and yet, understand that you are not alone. Although I did not grow up motherless, I suffered in a different way and understood at an age younger than yours that life is not fair. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to the Colorectal Cancer Alliance in Julie's name. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information. Journey sounds very friendly. She truly lived, and died, on her own terms. It was expensive, but I splurged 'cause I said, you know what? I was honoured to witness your and Josh' beautiful wedding. KAGAN: That's 8-year-old Mia on the violin. If you would like similar correspondence sent to your inbox, subscribe to our newsletter.). I long for death to make me whole, to give me what was denied me in this life. It taught me strength and resilience. Ms. Yip-Williams received a bachelors degree in English and Asian Studies from Williams College in Massachusetts and graduated from Harvard Law School. Accuracy and availability may vary. Ms. Yip-Williams with her husband, Joshua Williams, and daughters, from left, Isabelle and Mia, in 2012 in a family photograph. Her blog, with additional material written by Ms. Yip-Williams, is being turned into a memoir by Random House, which expects to publish it later this year or early next year. As your mother, I wish I could protect you from the pain. Even here, two weeks before she died, she was still finding new things to be fascinated by. Her blog captured her feelings of hope, hopelessness and ultimately acceptance. KAGAN: They show me the bathroom, the kitchen and then Julie's bedroom. But also as your mother, I want you to feel the pain, to live it, embrace it, and then learn from it. You have your whole life to decide how you feel about this.Yeah, I was gonna say, Get back to me in 40 years, I hope. Julie Yip-Williams died in March 2018 of colon cancer. Is there anything that you want people to know about Julie that they cant understand from reading this book?I think that Julie was probably the bravest person that I ever met. I mean, shit, I miss her. Julie wrote honestly and unflinchingly of her ordeal and articulated universal truths that resonate with anyone. She wouldve liked that. "Born blind in Vietnam, Julie Yip-Williams narrowly escaped euthanasia by her grandmother, only to then flee the political upheaval of the late 1970s with her family. At some point in the book, Julie comes to accept whats going to happen to her. KAGAN: And then there are the gifts that are harder to pin down. Things are normalizing. It taught me to ask for help, to not be ashamed of my physical shortcoming. Feel it. Julie wanted to face her death honestly, to not live in denial of it. Julie is survived by her husband, Joshua R. Williams, and by her daughters Mia Seng Williams (8) and Isabelle Yip Williams (6), all of Brooklyn, New York. Born blind in Theres so love and sadness twisting in the wind. She really felt that much of what was out there was just dishonest misleading even and just not particularly helpful. But also as your mother, I want you to feel the pain, embrace it and then learn from it. The coming-of-age story grapples with themes of . Hope is a funny thing, though. She died four-and-a-half years later, leaving behind her husband, Josh, and two small daughters, 8-year-old Isabelle and 6-year-old Mia. What strength Julie Yip-Williams and her husband had. [1] In 1979, she escaped Vietnam with dozens of family members, in a fishing boat. Youre not saying that you hate the book or wish she hadnt written it just that this is not the situation you want to be in. We're going to start this next story with a letter. Thats not an emotion people want to talk about when it comes to cancer.We have an annual family vacation where we get together with my parents, my sisters, and their families. She would go on to become a Harvard-educated lawyer, with a husband, a family, and a life she had once assumed would be impossible. Memorial. She did not deny it and didnt engage in happy talk. I think that is an important part of the story. Its not just her grandmother. And every time you yearn for me, it will hurt all over again and you will wonder why. You are sisters, and that gives you a bond of blood and common experiences that is like no other. A young mother facing a terminal diagnosis, Julie Yip-Williams began to write her story, a story like no other. Award-winning actor dies peacefully in his sleep aged 92. Below please find the obituary I wrote to honor Julie, which includes links to her New York Times obituary and her recent appearance on CBSs Sunday Morning program. Youve been told that theres a 80 to 90 percent chance that this person you thought you were going to spend your life with, youre going to spend the next two to four years with. Goodbye for now, my love. She was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer in 2013. 2023 Vox Media, LLC. Julies reaction upon hearing that Random House was actually interested in transforming it into a book I mean, its hard to describe. She was born in Tam-Ky, Vietnam, just as the war was ending, grew up in Monterey Park, California, and graduated from Williams College and Harvard Law School. Yip-Williamss memoir is different: more raw, less lyrical, and brilliantly honest about the rage that accompanies the physical and emotional pain of a premature death. Know more about Candid Blog writers journey in life and Messages she left for her children! Reflecting on her acceptances to Williams and Harvard Law and then being hired by Cleary, she said at a fund-raising event sponsored by the law firm in 2014, I never felt like I belonged in any of these fine institutions: a poor immigrant girl who wasnt that smart but was willing to work hard, rubbing elbows with Americas elite.. Get used to it! Somehow, we grow up thinking that there should be fairness, that people should be treated fairly, that there should be equality of treatment as well as opportunity. Walk through the fire and you will emerge on the other end, whole and stronger. Yip-Williams died on March 19, 2018, aged 42, just two months after Kagan met her. This password will be used to sign into all, How It Feels to Publish Your Wifes Memoir About Dying, Okay, TikTok, You Can Calm Down About Aubrey Plaza at the SAG Awards Now, Shakira Takes Some Pointers From Taylor Swift, The Surprisingly Contrarian Case Against Lying About Science, Ed Sheeran Completes His PEMDAS Era With New Album, ASTROs Rocky Leaves the Group After Ending Contract. After she will be gone, she had wanted her presence to be felt by her children while growing up. I believe this dream will come true. Julie Ly Yip-Williams, beloved wife, mother, sister and daughter, passed away on March 19, 2018 at the age of 42, following a long and fierce battle with advanced colon cancer. I love you both forever and ever - Mommy. Courage cannot exist without fear. Yip-Williams recorded the various chemo cocktails doctors prescribed her, the temptation to simply give in and stop all treatment, the forced jollity and fierceness of fellow cancer sufferers, and, most movingly, her attempts to come to terms with the fact that her daughters would grow up without her and her husband might one day find new love. I dont know if my words could ever ease your pain. Julie is survived by her husband, Joshua R. Williams, and by her daughters Mia Seng Williams (8) and Isabelle Yip Williams (6), all of Brooklyn, New York. Julie is also survived by her parents, brother, and sisters. And with her book, her blog and these recordings, she was showing all of us how to die well and giving us permission to do the same. [2] In 2013, after being diagnosed with colon cancer, Yip-Williams started a blog, to share her experience with the disease and treatment, and to leave a record of herself for her young daughters. So she left them messages and instructions like who your dentist is, when your school tuition needs to be paid, about all the ins and outs of the apartment. One of her central goals was to cut through the dishonesty, obfuscation and sugar-coating that seem to surround cancer and to allow people a window into the genuine experience of dealing with cancer at such a young age, in the hopes that others might draw comfort and wisdom from her words. I, on the other hand, was completely terrified of it. Julie was born January 6, 1976, in Tam Ky, Vietnam and was of Chinese descent. Yip-Williams died last year. If you wish to know more about Julie Yip-Williams, please go to youtube.com to view the CBS Sunday Morning Show video clip to see Passage: Julie Yip-Williams. She didnt really [aspire] to commercialize it, but she wrote this manuscript about being born blind. We hope for peace and understanding for all of you in this tough time. Ms. Yip-Williamss richly detailed blog, which she started writing after receiving her diagnosis in 2013, was more than an account of her siege with cancer. Sadly, well never know. Julie Ly Yip-Williams, beloved wife, mother, sister and daughter, passed away on March 19, 2018 at the age of 42, following a long and fierce battle with advanced colon cancer. degree from Harvard Law School. My seventh-grade history teacher, Mrs. Olson, a batty eccentric but a phenomenal teacher, used to rebut our teenage protestations of Thats not fair! (for example, when she sprang a pop quiz on us or when we played what was called the Unfair trivia game) with Life is not fair. Did you or she see these books as ultimately a force for good? Here is the linkto a conversation Julie had with Tracy Smith of the CBS Sunday Morning program. Julie got too sick in the last several months to write it. My mother didnt think it worthwhile to have me study Chinese after English school, as my siblings did, because she assumed I wouldnt be able to see the characters. Know that your mother once felt as you feel and that I am there hugging you and urging you on. (Laughter) Like, I couldn't watch myself be born, but I can watch myself die. Her memoir, "The Unwinding Of The Miracle," is out this week. It was definitely there from the very beginning of her cancer journey. She has two daughters older daughter Mia and Isabelle,6. Julie fervently believed in an afterlife, and our most ardent hope is that she is in a better place, one in which she will one day be joined by her loving husband. You will forever be the kids whose mother died of cancer. It made me more resourceful. Probably 150 to 200 pages. Julie was born January 6, 1976, in Tam Ky, Vietnam and was of Chinese descent. Congenital cataracts caused her blindness, and to her paternal grandmother, the familys matriarch, the little girls condition meant that she was an unwanted burden and had no future. Julie Ly Yip-Williams. Such an amazing person. She thought this experience and this book might have something to teach people about facing hard truths, and would be an exhortation to the living.. Julie was many thingsa brilliant scholar, a talented attorney, a fantastic writer, a lover of life who traveled to places as far-flung as the South Pole, Egypt, Jordan, Bangladesh, the Galapagos Islands, Paris, China and Vietnam, among many others, a lover of fine food, a fantastic cook who owned probably fifty cookbooks and could produce (good) restaurant-quality food, a voracious reader and yet also an avid and unapologetic binge television-watcherbut even more fundamentally, she was a loyal and loving person who put her family first. The series chronicles her process of preparing for her death and revisiting the events of her extraordinary life, through hours of intensely personal and revealing conversations. What makes Julies story distinctive is that she approached cancer consciously, Mark Warren, her editor, said in a telephone interview. What began as the chronicle of an. Julie's family went back to their home in Tam Ky. 8 months after, which was on the 6 th of January 1976, the author named D. L. Thanh opened her eyes to this world. Julie Yip-Williams was born to an ethnic Chinese family in Vietnam in 1976. YIP-WILLIAMS: I was at radiation this morning. Wisdom cannot exist without suffering. Split Alert! Things you buy through our links may earnNew Yorka commission. It has an 11% five-year survival rate. The family settled in Monterey Park, a suburb of Los Angeles. She was really sick by that time. She also left behind a manuscript and a few years' worth. Rounding up our favorite funny videos of the month. 15 Warm-Weather Movies to Stream While Youre Snowed In. Rejoice in life and all of its beauty because of it; live with special zest and zeal for me.. When we're born, you know, we come into this life, and we don't have the consciousness to be aware of the miracle that's occurred. And you will want so painfully for me to be there to hug you when your friend is mean to you, to look on as your ears are being pierced, to sit in the front row clapping loudly at your music recitals, to be that annoying parent insisting on another photo with the college graduate, to help you get dressed on your wedding day, to take your newborn babe from your arms so you can sleep. I know my kids better than anybody else. 336 pages. Then came the cancer. Julie Yip-Williams, whose candid blog about having Stage IV colon cancer also described a life of struggles that began with being born blind in Vietnam and her ethnic Chinese familys escape in a rickety fishing boat, died on Monday at her home in Brooklyn. After immigrating to America as a child, Yip-Williams underwent surgery that restored partial sight. Her husband, Joshua Williams has said the cause of her death was metastatic colon cancer. Then, at age thirty-seven, with two little girls at home, Julie was diagnosed with terminal metastatic colon cancer, and a different journey began. Live thoroughly and completely, thoughtfully, gratefully, courageously, and wisely. But in the meantime, live, my darling babies. Kagan was there and remembers both the heartbreak of watching the family grieve and the weight of the responsibility she felt in telling Yip-Williams's story. You would be foolish to expect fairness, at least when it comes to matters of life and death, matters outside the scope of the law, matters that cannot be engineered or manipulated by human effort, matters that are distinctly the domain of God or luck or fate or some other unknowable, incomprehensible force. Live a life worth living. We are here to feel the complex range of emotions that come with being human. SHAPIRO: That was Julie Yip-Williams reading a letter to her daughters. But I realized that these things are the low-hanging fruit, the easy-to-solve but relatively unimportant problems of the oh so mundane. Additional materials had been written by Julie to her existing blog. Goodbye for now, my love. Im really proud of her. They were only in their early 40s so, she assumed that he would marry again. Privacy Policy and Theres just no two ways about that. What began as the chronicle of an imminent and early death became something much more--a powerful exhortation to the living. And I'll think about all the nights that they'll sleep in this bed, and I'll think about, you know, how I won't be here. KAGAN: The entire time that I'm sitting here asking Julie all these questions about her death, Mia and Isabelle are just, like, in the background, playing, totally unfazed by what we're talking about. She was born in war-torn Vietnam with blinding cataracts, and her grandmother insisted that Julie be taken to an herbalist who would feed her a poisonous tincture, thus removing the burden of a helpless girl. Despite being legally blind, she thrived, attending Williams, where she majored in Asian studies and history, and Harvard Law School. She was born in Tam-Ky, Vietnam, just as the war was ending, grew up in Monterey Park, California, and graduated from Williams College and Harvard Law School. Born in Vietnam, Julie Yip-Williams was a writer, mother, wife and lawyer who grew up in California and graduated from Harvard Law School. The Bookseller Julie Yip-Williams lived a life defined by effort and incredible self-reliance. [7][8] It was included in The New York Times' "100 Notable Books of 2019" annual feature. Her husband, Joshua Williams has said the cause of her death was metastatic colon cancer. We all loved Julie so very much and we miss her terribly, but we also believe that she is in a better place. Julie Ly Yip-Williams, beloved wife, mother, sister and daughter, passed away on March 19, 2018 at the age of 42, following a long and fierce battle with advanced colon cancer. Similarly, when your time comes, I will be there waiting for you, so that you, too, will be given what was lost to you. Against all odds, she became a Harvard-educated lawyer, with a . Back in 2013, [they] wouldve been helpful to me. Because its actually happening in real life, said Isabelle, who is 6, and you dont know how it feels like., Ms. Yip-Williams was born Diep Ly Thanh on Jan. 6, 1976, in Tam Ky, a city that was part of South Vietnam until the countrys unification with North Vietnam later that year. I have solved all the logistical problems resulting from my death that I can think of I am hiring a very reasonably priced cook for you and Daddy; I have left a list of instructions about who your dentist is and when your school tuition needs to be paid and when to renew the violin rental contract and the identity of the piano tuner. YIP-WILLIAMS: Do you know that when you die, when you can't breathe anymore, there's something called air hunger where your lung is starving for air. She was born in Tam-Ky, Vietnam, just as the war was ending, grew up in Monterey Park, California, and graduated from Williams College and Harvard Law School. Cancer crushes hope, leaving a wasteland of grief, depression, despair and a sense of unending futility. Towards the end of her life, Julie wanted to document everything - the emotional experience, trips to the hospital for treatment and conversations like this. And yet, that single unfortunate physical condition changed me for the better. Be stronger people because of it, for you will know that you carry my strength within you. And Im also glad for my childrens sake. Julie Yip-Williams died in March 2018 of colon cancer. Upper-class families like that of Julie had their assets confiscated by Vietnams Communist government. We were lucky because our boat did not sink as so many others did, she wrote. It seems to have a life and will of its own that I cannot control through the sheer force of my mind. RIP Gordon Pinsent! We could not be more proud of the life she lived or the person she was. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. First and foremost, you have each other to lean on. And I really am very grateful that she got the book deal that she got. To experience all the things she achieved in the forty two years she had lived, many of us would have taken a few . No one, and certainly not I, could ask for more than that in one lifetime, as brief as it may be." A friend from Wisconsin <3, https://fundraise.ccalliance.org/blue-star-tributes/julieyipwilliams. She was a tour de force of organizational abilityas her husband loved to say (and she loved to hear), she was a model of efficiency, organization and clarity, and she ran a tight, firm ship, but her hand ultimately was always guided by love and concern for those of us who were fortunate enough to cross her path. She was only 42 years old. Her editor said in a telephone interview, What makes Julies story distinctive is that she approached cancer consciously. She was 28 when she learned of her near-death in infancy which she called The Secret after her grandmothers death. I'm sort of watching it happen as an observer. The Magical Last Hours of the Flix Gonzlez-Torres Show. She was born in Tam-Ky, Vietnam, just as the war was ending, grew up in Monterey Park, California, and graduated from Williams College and Harvard Law School. Know that your mother lived an incredible life that was filled with more than her fair share of pain and suffering, first with her blindness and then with cancer. KAGAN: Part of that reverence for that unwinding of the miracle was an intense focus on the process of dying, on what was happening to her body as her death got closer. It was also a meditation on love and family as well as a message of openness to her young daughters, Mia and Isabelle, about her illness. The suit alleges that producers offered no support for the crews anxiety and PTSD symptoms in the aftermath of the shooting. She died in March 2018 and documented the final months of her extraordinary life for the new podcast, Julie.
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